In the dark days before refrigeration was invented, people in the tropics had no way to enjoy icy drinks. That's right., no margaritas, no daiquiris, and definitely no pina coladas. At least, that was until Freddy, over dressed in his old timey heavy wool clothes, visited the Caribbean and sweatily decided the lack of ice was bull shit. Hence, one of the great American entrepreneurs set out on his journey to greatness.
Freddy was a man of the early 19th century, a stern unsmiling demeanor wrapped in a halo of curly hair and massive mutton chops. Born into a wealthy Boston family, Freddy spent the summer of his 22nd year much like the rich kids of today, in the Caribbean sweating his balls off. However, unlike today’s entitled youths, the experience actually gave Freddy an idea. Specifically, he realized that relaxing in the Caribbean would be a lot nicer if they could get some cool drinks up in that shit. The Caribbean needed ice, and his homeland of New England had too much of it. Why not just load a shit ton of ice on a boat and ship it on down? Now if at this point you are saying to yourself, "because ice melts, stupid," congratulations, you have already given it more thought than Freddy did. Running back up to New England, he soon sent down sent down his first frosty shipment. Mysteriously, half of his first cargo of ice disappeared. The remainder was sold at a loss or melted whilst sitting on the sweltering dock.
Now at this point most people would have had a good laugh at how silly they had been and call it good. Not Freddy. Undeterred, he doubled down, sending more ships filled with frozen water into the hot tropic sun, losing money with each vessel to the point that he was thrown in debtor's prison a couple of times. For those not in the know, debtor’s prison was where you got sent if you were unable to pay your debts, which is a surefire way of making sure you will probably never make enough money to pay back said debts. Still undeterred, the moment Freddy got out, he borrowed more money and set out for Cuba in yet another vessel filled with ice, the police literally just missing him at the wharf.
While Freddy may have been a bit of a stubborn idiot, he was also a perseverant one. Over the years of literally beating his head against the wall, he learned to adopt newer and better technologies. Ice was coated in sawdust and straw, and ice houses were built at Caribbean ports. After 19 years of losing money, Freddy quite suddenly became a success. Ships carrying ice from New England started sailing regularly to the Caribbean, the Deep South, and even as far as India, where riots broke out when people, many of whom had never seen ice before, saw their miraculous purchase literally melt in their hands.
Freddy celebrated his success the way most successful men do, by marrying a woman 30 years his junior and pumping out a bunch of heirs. He also tried his hand at more conventional industries, such as fruit and coffee imports, but failed at both miserably. Ice was to remain his chilled bread and butter for the rest of his life. The export of ice from New England to the rest of the world rapidly became one of the United States’ top exports. Freddy died in 1864 at the age of 80, just as the first early refrigerators were being invented.
Image: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Frederic_Tudor-facingright_pre1864.jpg