(Sung to tune of Winter Wonderland)
At the office Christmas party,
Started out with a Bacardi,
I never get sauced,
But right now I’m lost,
It’s Christmas and I wonder where I am.
I had a beer at my brothers,
Some egg nog at my mothers,
Then two bottles of wine
Which car is mine,
It’s Christmas and I wonder where I am.
Someone caught me dancing with a snowman,
A policeman came and put me in his car,
He said are you drunk and I said no man,
But could you drop me off at the next bar.
I guess my wife she’s a missing,
Who’s this dog that I’m kissing,
They say his name is Spot,
And I like him a lot,
It’s Christmas and I wonder where I am.
I was looking for a woman I could dance with,
So I stood beneath the mistletoe,
Someone said I’d have a better chance if,
Just maybe I put back on all my clothes.
It’s real cold and I’m a shaking,
And my balls they are a shrinking,
My nose is red like a rose,
Can’t find my clothes,
It’s Christmas and I wonder where I am.