(Sung to the tune of 12 Days of Christmas)
On the X day of Hashmas my true love gave to me….
A handjob that wasn’t worth a fuck,
Two bags of flour,
Three tit checks,
Four false trails,
Five golden showers!
Six sixty-niners,
Seven soggy sports bras,
Eight aching assholes,
Nine naked nymphos,
Ten tons of shiggy,
Eleven lads a licking,
Twelve twats a twatting.