(Sung to the tune of Holly Jolly Christmas)
Have a holly jolly Christmas,
Snort a line to end the year,
Now I do know that you love snow,
But have a mug of beer.
Have a holly jolly Christmas,
When you stagger down the street,
Wave hello to folks and crows,
Flopping around your meat.
Oh-ho, take it slow,
Before your nostril bleeds,
Pass the straw over,
Let’s ride the white pony.
Have a holly jolly Christmas,
And in case you didn’t hear,
Oh don’t worry
Because every drug is legal right here.
Oh-ho, have some blow,
Please save some just for me.
Something waits for you,
Sinus surgery.
Have a holly jolly Christmas,
And in case the cops are near,
Oh by golly
Don’t rat me out if you get caught this year.