Pocahontas - Can You Paint with All the Colors of the Bullshit?

Pokey was the daughter of Powhatan, the head chief of the Algonquian tribes of Virginia. As was tradition, each tribe sent a woman to Powhatan to bear him a child, at which point they were then sent back to find a new husband.  Pokey was one of these children.  Pokey's name was said to mean wanton, which can mean either that she enjoyed to play and frolic, or that she was sexually immodest.  When Pokey was around 11, a sizable group of English settlers showed up in Virginia and built a town in a swamp.  The English called their new settlement Jamestown.  Their leader, a self-centered adventurer named John Smith, visited Powhatan to establish relations.  Smith, who was a bit of a pathological liar, later claimed that Powhatan tried to crush his head with a club, but that Pokey stopped him.  In truth, the two men probably just talked, but that wouldn’t have made for a good story.

Following the initial meeting, Pokey often went to Jamestown to visit Smith and to play games with the boys there.  Take that sentence however you want.  Noticing that the people of Jamestown were starving to death, because they were idiots, she started bringing them food.  This lasted for two years until Smith had to go back to England after becoming severely wounded by a gun powder accident.  The remaining English, apparently just because they were assholes, told Pokey that Smith had died.  After that Pokey quit coming around to play and things between the English and the natives quickly deteriorated into a war which lasted four years.  Early in the war, the English captured Pokey and tried to use her as leverage for negotiations with her father to get him to return some stolen guns and tools.  Powhatan, having many daughters, did not return all of the items demanded, which resulted in a year long standoff.

During the standoff it was said that Pokey received "extraordinary courteous usage".  Again, take that as you will.  Whatever was going on, Pokey was also baptized a Christian and renamed Rebecca, because even in time of war, the English couldn't get past the need to save what they considered wayward souls.  The standoff built up to a violent confrontation between the two sides, but Pokey, in proper angry daughter fashion, stepped between the two armies and publicly berated her father for not giving up a few guns for her.  Then, in a move born of some kind of mix of Stockholm Syndrome and teenage rebelliousness, she married an Englishman named John Rolfe, who was famous for being the first white man to successfully cultivate tobacco.  The two sides, now awkward in-laws, made peace.  John and Pokey's marriage was a strange one, not because she was 18 and he was 29, but because he considered her a heathen savage, which is probably not the best start to a marriage.

Pokey lived for two years at Jamestown with her new husband, during which time she gave birth to a son.  After two years of wedded bliss, Rolfe took her back to England with him to act as a walking tourist attraction and billboard for setting up more colonies in Virginia.  Pokey was a big hit in England, attending all of the finest parties and even getting to meet the king.  She also got to see her old friend John Smith, which was surprising given that she thought he had been dead for the past eight years.  After a year in England, the couple set out for home, but before the ship even got out of the River Thames, Pokey fell ill with smallpox and died.  She was 21 years old.  Soon after, the Algonquian tribes and English settlers went back to killing each other in Virginia.

Image: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Pocahontas_by_Simon_van_de_Passe_(1616).png