(Sung to the tune of God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman)
The restroom door said gentleman, so I just walked inside,
I took two steps and realized, I’d been taken for a ride,
I heard high voices, turned and found the place was occupied,
By three nuns, two old ladies, and a nurse,
What could be worse?
Than three nuns, two old ladies, and a nurse.
The restroom door said gentleman, it must have been a gag,
As soon as I walked therein I ran into some old hag,
She sprayed me with a can of mace and hit me with her bag,
It wasn’t cut out to be my day,
What can I say?
It wasn’t cut out to be my day.
The restroom door said gentleman, oh what a terrible lie,
It didn’t take too long inside until I heard a cry,
I tried to run and caught my balls zipping up my fly,
My scream was higher than hers,
You should’ve heard,
My scream was higher than hers.
The restroom door said gentleman, I swear it to be true,
I was just looking for some place to use the loo,
Now I’ve got a group of ladies swearing that they’ll sue,
I’m going to be fucking broke,
This is no joke,
I’m going to be fucking broke.
The restroom door said gentleman, and I would like to find,
The crummy little creep who had the nerve to switch the sign,
Because I’ve got a black eye and a high heel up my behind,
Now I’ll never sit in comfort or joy,
Boy oh boy,
Now I’ll never sit in comfort or joy.