(Sung to the tune of the Christmas Song)
Chipmunks roasting on an open fire,
Jack frost ripping off your nose,
Yuletide carolers being thrown in a fire,
And folks dressed up like buffaloes.
Everybody knows a turkey slaughtered in the snow,
Helps to make the season right,
Tiny tots with their eyes all gouged out,
Will find it hard to see tonight.
They know that Santa is on his way,
He’s loaded lots of guns and bullets on his sleigh,
And every mother’s child is sure to spy,
To see if reindeer really scream when they die.
And so I’m offering this simple phrase,
To kids from one to ninety-two,
Although it’s been said many times many ways,
Merry Christmas,
Merry Christmas,
Merry Christmas,
Fuck you.